okay, so i have had a brilliant idea and i am basically on the brink of becoming a millionaire.
here's where it came from...
shannon and i went out to dinner at a mexican place we used to eat at all the time but then stopped going to. immediately upon finishing the meal, it became clear why we never eat there anymore...it makes shannon ill.
oops.
so i thought, 'sometimes you eat something and wish you hadn't a kinda want to take it back...'
and VOILA!
you guys....vomitoriums!
wait for it.
yeah! I KNOW!
so, here's my thinking, just spit-balling...
ladies are out for a bachelorette party.
they want to eat a giant steak dinner, with baked potatoes and bread and rolls and everything. YUM!
but they also want to go out dancing afterwards and no have to deal with post-meal sluggishness or bloated food bellies.
so, they come to my upchuckery!
they rent a group room.
they check in and trade their clothes for some robes and slippers. (no terry cloth. getting vomit out of terry cloth is a nightmare. i think.)
they waddle into a large tiled room, with showers and stalls and troughs and sinks.
they do their business.
they shower, if they feel so inclined.
they leave the room and head into the powder room, where complimentary water (cucumber, lemon, fruit, bubbly, flat, cold, warm...so many types!) is available. also saltines.
there are sinks where they can use toothbrushes (which we sell, and which come with free toothpaste and mouthwash!), wash their faces, reapply make-up, use some perfume from the perfume bar, and get ready to go out again.
maybe they want to lay down a solid layer in their tummies so they can drink a bunch!
we have a cafe that serves tummy friendly foods!
chamomile tea, papaya enzymes, chicken soup, grilled cheese, salads with mild dressings, ginger ale...
so they eat some, get gussied up and head back out, skinny and smelling better, but having enjoyed a lovely dinner!!
IT CAN'T FAIL!
so, that's one market.
maybe we have a ladies' night package.
obviously the bulimic are an option, but we can't count on them. they're not going to be our bread and butter. (get it?)
another market is drunk people.
either they want to keep drinking, or they're too drunk and want to start sobering up somewhere that isn't a bar bathroom. either way, we're there for them.
we'll have private rooms (NO SEX!!), semi-private rooms, and public rooms.
you check your clothes at the door, and they're returned to you, smelling better.
maybe we have sober up specials, where you can rent some of those capsule sleeping pods that they have in japan for a couple of hours to help sleep it off, and then we'll throw in a free breathalyzer before you leave. overnight parking, for a fee. free shuttle with certain packages? (just riffing.)
obviously we'll open our first branch in las vegas, because where else will there be so many stupid people doing stupid things they wish they could take back, right? from there, we'll see. i'm thinking...the marina? hollywood?
my only problem...a name.
ideas? the upchuckery isn't going to sell itself. we need something less barfy.
Showing posts with label favorite things. Show all posts
Showing posts with label favorite things. Show all posts
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
when shit goes down, pt. 1
this whole swine flu thing has been making me think a lot about 'when shit goes down.'
i'll define 'when shit goes down' as any scenario where society as we know it is basically leveled, and the normal order breaks down. nuclear attack, flu pandemic, natural catastrophe, etc. all count as 'when shit goes down' scenarios. i spend a lot of my idle time pondering what i would do, where i would go, who i would want with me, and so on.
there are tons of movies and books and video games about stuff like this, so getting an idea of what to expect totally isn't hard. (my favorite is 'the stand' by stephen king, but it's a fantastic genre all around.)
okay, when shit goes down, obviously we'll need the right supplies to prepare us for a post-apocalyptic world. choosing the right supplies depends a bit on what specific kind of apocalypse occurs, but generally, i think we can make some choices.
let's assume that staying put is a BAD idea. either because of infection (zombie, superflu) or radiation or just people going crazy from the shock of the apocalypse, being in a highly populated area will be more dangerous. more chances for crazy people to try to kill you for the stuff you have. more competition for scarce resources. so, let's assume you're Getting Away.
how do you get away?
some choices, with my pros and cons (we're going to say these are all stock and haven't been souped up into the mad max armored beasts they'll eventually become. we're not there yet.) :
a) atv
pros: much less gas than a car; good for going off road, but would be okay on a road; more easily maneuverable in tight spaces than a car; faster than a bike or people on foot; i'm not certain but i assume the engine is relatively simple; probably strong enough to pull a little trailer attached to the back, for gear; could potentially hold 2?.
cons: still needs gas, which will become more and more of a problem as time goes on; heavy enough to be a problem if it tips or gets bogged down or trapped somewhere - not light enough for me to unwedge myself; probably not faster than a car with a super-big engine; kids are constantly flipping them and getting killed so apparently that sort of thing is easy to do; might not be easy to modify for towing or better storage; not weatherproof; can't serve as shelter in a pinch; not terribly easy to replace, should you need to; really loud; can't hold more than 2, and 2 might not be very comfortable or realistic for longer trips.
b) motorcycle (would be best if it's okay for both streets and off-road)
pros: really good on gas; good for both roads and going over hills through fields and stuff; perfect for zipping through road blocks from abandoned cars; easy-ish to hide in bushes or something while you sleep; fast; fairly common, so easy to replace parts or the whole bike; lighter than an atv, in case of bogging down or tip overs; could carry two.
cons: again, still relies some on gas; probably still too heavy for me to EASILY lift or right or push by myself; dangerous - super easy to kill yourself on it; have to sacrifice cargo capacity for speed and maneuverability - the best we can do is a backpack and some saddle bags, which still adds weight and girth; not weatherproof at all, and very dangerous in the rain; can't serve as shelter; super loud; needs safety gear in order to be really safe, which will cut down on visibility and reaction time and add bulk; again, no good for transporting more than 2 people
c) 4wd van/truck w/shell (this includes monster trucks and hummers)
pros: huge, so it'd be harder for attackers to get at you; can hold tons of stuff and/or people; can be shelter AND transportation; weatherproof; can go off road; stll, fairly simple engines so minor repairs will be easy and scavenging for parts will be easy enough; would be strong enough to help bogged cars and trucks in your group if they got stuck; good for a family or people traveling with little ones who need full-time protection;
cons: HUGE, so you're basically married to it; useless in the city, because the major arteries in and out will be completely blocked, especially to something as big as that; will use an tons of gas; really tough to camouflage; unless it's bulletproof (which it won't be, realistically) it won't be any more safe from attack than something without walls and might even lull you into a false sense of security; still loud; more people = heavier = moves slower
e) regular bike (mountain bike definitely)
pros: really light; very maneuverable; fewer moving parts = easy to fix; easy to replace; could be outfitted with light saddle bags; great for on and off road; faster than people on foot; really easy to hide; no gas; quiet; could have a kid's seat attached to it if need be; no special protective clothing required; less threatening than most vehicles.
cons: relies on a certain level of physical fitness - if you're out of shape, or injured, you're in trouble; absolutely no protection of any kind; not fast enough to get away from anything with a motor so you'd have to rely on maneuverability; can't carry much gear, and certainly not enough to have a stockpile; not weatherproof; riding bikes will make you really tired and hungry and thirst - food is heavy, can be hard to find and often takes time to prepare, water is really heavy and could be hard to find; obvs carrying ability is limited to small kids;
g) on foot
pros: way easier to hide; can easily get through areas that no vehicle could make it through; nothing external needed aside from some really solid walking shoes; easy to find shelter anywhere (under a car, in a bush, up a tree); non-threatening (could be helpful if you meet skittish survivors)
cons: walking will require a lot of energy, which will require a lot of food, which can be hard to find, time consuming to prepare and heavy to carry; all gear, food, clothing, weapons, etc. must be carried on your body, slowing you down and possibly counteracting the benefits of maneuverability; slow as fuck, too much so to make it through wintry conditions safely, perhaps;
given my goals (speed, ease of fueling, ease of repair, maneuverability) i think i'd go for the street-safe dirt bike.
what about you? what would you choose? any vehicles i haven't thought of?
next note, i'll be pondering weapons.
i'll define 'when shit goes down' as any scenario where society as we know it is basically leveled, and the normal order breaks down. nuclear attack, flu pandemic, natural catastrophe, etc. all count as 'when shit goes down' scenarios. i spend a lot of my idle time pondering what i would do, where i would go, who i would want with me, and so on.
there are tons of movies and books and video games about stuff like this, so getting an idea of what to expect totally isn't hard. (my favorite is 'the stand' by stephen king, but it's a fantastic genre all around.)
okay, when shit goes down, obviously we'll need the right supplies to prepare us for a post-apocalyptic world. choosing the right supplies depends a bit on what specific kind of apocalypse occurs, but generally, i think we can make some choices.
let's assume that staying put is a BAD idea. either because of infection (zombie, superflu) or radiation or just people going crazy from the shock of the apocalypse, being in a highly populated area will be more dangerous. more chances for crazy people to try to kill you for the stuff you have. more competition for scarce resources. so, let's assume you're Getting Away.
how do you get away?
some choices, with my pros and cons (we're going to say these are all stock and haven't been souped up into the mad max armored beasts they'll eventually become. we're not there yet.) :
a) atv
pros: much less gas than a car; good for going off road, but would be okay on a road; more easily maneuverable in tight spaces than a car; faster than a bike or people on foot; i'm not certain but i assume the engine is relatively simple; probably strong enough to pull a little trailer attached to the back, for gear; could potentially hold 2?.
cons: still needs gas, which will become more and more of a problem as time goes on; heavy enough to be a problem if it tips or gets bogged down or trapped somewhere - not light enough for me to unwedge myself; probably not faster than a car with a super-big engine; kids are constantly flipping them and getting killed so apparently that sort of thing is easy to do; might not be easy to modify for towing or better storage; not weatherproof; can't serve as shelter in a pinch; not terribly easy to replace, should you need to; really loud; can't hold more than 2, and 2 might not be very comfortable or realistic for longer trips.
b) motorcycle (would be best if it's okay for both streets and off-road)
pros: really good on gas; good for both roads and going over hills through fields and stuff; perfect for zipping through road blocks from abandoned cars; easy-ish to hide in bushes or something while you sleep; fast; fairly common, so easy to replace parts or the whole bike; lighter than an atv, in case of bogging down or tip overs; could carry two.
cons: again, still relies some on gas; probably still too heavy for me to EASILY lift or right or push by myself; dangerous - super easy to kill yourself on it; have to sacrifice cargo capacity for speed and maneuverability - the best we can do is a backpack and some saddle bags, which still adds weight and girth; not weatherproof at all, and very dangerous in the rain; can't serve as shelter; super loud; needs safety gear in order to be really safe, which will cut down on visibility and reaction time and add bulk; again, no good for transporting more than 2 people
c) 4wd van/truck w/shell (this includes monster trucks and hummers)
pros: huge, so it'd be harder for attackers to get at you; can hold tons of stuff and/or people; can be shelter AND transportation; weatherproof; can go off road; stll, fairly simple engines so minor repairs will be easy and scavenging for parts will be easy enough; would be strong enough to help bogged cars and trucks in your group if they got stuck; good for a family or people traveling with little ones who need full-time protection;
cons: HUGE, so you're basically married to it; useless in the city, because the major arteries in and out will be completely blocked, especially to something as big as that; will use an tons of gas; really tough to camouflage; unless it's bulletproof (which it won't be, realistically) it won't be any more safe from attack than something without walls and might even lull you into a false sense of security; still loud; more people = heavier = moves slower
e) regular bike (mountain bike definitely)
pros: really light; very maneuverable; fewer moving parts = easy to fix; easy to replace; could be outfitted with light saddle bags; great for on and off road; faster than people on foot; really easy to hide; no gas; quiet; could have a kid's seat attached to it if need be; no special protective clothing required; less threatening than most vehicles.
cons: relies on a certain level of physical fitness - if you're out of shape, or injured, you're in trouble; absolutely no protection of any kind; not fast enough to get away from anything with a motor so you'd have to rely on maneuverability; can't carry much gear, and certainly not enough to have a stockpile; not weatherproof; riding bikes will make you really tired and hungry and thirst - food is heavy, can be hard to find and often takes time to prepare, water is really heavy and could be hard to find; obvs carrying ability is limited to small kids;
g) on foot
pros: way easier to hide; can easily get through areas that no vehicle could make it through; nothing external needed aside from some really solid walking shoes; easy to find shelter anywhere (under a car, in a bush, up a tree); non-threatening (could be helpful if you meet skittish survivors)
cons: walking will require a lot of energy, which will require a lot of food, which can be hard to find, time consuming to prepare and heavy to carry; all gear, food, clothing, weapons, etc. must be carried on your body, slowing you down and possibly counteracting the benefits of maneuverability; slow as fuck, too much so to make it through wintry conditions safely, perhaps;
given my goals (speed, ease of fueling, ease of repair, maneuverability) i think i'd go for the street-safe dirt bike.
what about you? what would you choose? any vehicles i haven't thought of?
next note, i'll be pondering weapons.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
i'm so behind!
i have my google reader set up with a jillion RSS feeds.
(i have no idea how to explain what these things are, so please do whatever research you need to in order to get up to speed. it's not really important. let's liken it to...having a few weeks worth of 'the new yorker' sitting around, waiting to be read. or, your tivo is full of stuff that you haven't had time to watch. the point is, there's a lot and it's hard to keep up.)
anyway, if i don't keep up on a daily basis, it's nearly impossible to ever catch up. since one of them is headlines from NPR, there are hundreds of updates right there. then add in the page six gossip stories, which are 12 a day. then i subscribed to buzzfeed, which i am realizing is a total reader-killer. anyway, i am drowning in online content. i assume this must be how "real" bloggers keep up on things, because i can't imagine where anyone would find the time to search the internet for entirely original content. even if you were getting paid for it, which most bloggers aren't you'd get totally overwhelmed, i think. it takes hours to fully explore any really good site. so, it must be RSS.
in any case, i am WAY behind. i haven't check my RSS in days and it is telling me now that i have 1000+ stories. it literally says "1000+" like past 1000 the numbers are too fatiguing for it to even contemplate.
this blog entry will be a bunch of the stuff i like, as i am powering through my RSS feeds, many of which i am just going to delete, because life is short and i have a disk of 'battlestar gallactica' to watch and i have my priorities.
also, i am too lazy and too small time to worry about correctly citing where everything is from, but if you go to the site to pursue the link, obviously you'll see the original material, so i think i'm still doing okay and not violating any kind of blogger code of ethics. (as if i cared.)
* so glad i found this, because i was wondering about some of this stuff and was afraid to ask.
* sweet baby jesus, this is so upsetting, on so many levels. which levels? 1) there is a real person who has to go through his life looking like this. 2) he's so creepy looking that people assume he can't be real. 3) he is a fucking SEX OFFENDER, which is both icky and also kinda understandable because LOOK AT HIM. who is going to have sex with him voluntarily? my parents are big believers in the idea that we choose our lives each time - choose our parents and our life situations - to help us work out whatever lessons we need to this time around. sure, why not? but WOW, he chose a tough incarnation this time around. WHOA.
* i don't know who half of these people are, but the ones i do know are funny enough to make it worthwhile. (don't bother if you're not a music snob. it's a waste of time.)
* this is a joke site that is sure to offend all my fundamentalist christian readers. (i have no fundamentalist christian readers that i am aware of.) for everyone else, it's literally hours of hilarity making fun of fundamentalist christians.
* this article about a new slow food movement in new york made me want to move to brooklyn and get all foodie. don't tell shannon, but i think i am in love with one of the chocolate-making brothers. (the one who looks like shannon.)
* i know it's linguistic elitism to decry the devolution of my version of the english language, and to feel like it's all falling apart because of lazy grunters and endless IMing, but it makes me glad to know that someone, somewhere, finds this stuff worth noting. (though they're in the UK, which is a completely different language, but still....)
* you guys, poor bernard madoff has been under house arrest in his manhattan penthouse for WEEKS. hasn't the poor man suffered enough?! answer: not even close. i love the last part, where he says he should get to keep his penthouse and $60 mill in assets because they're in his wife's name. aside from publicly spanking him on his testicles 50 billion times, i can't think of a non-death penalty punishment strict enough for him.
* this month is the 150th birthday of dr. seuss himself, theodore geisel, so here are some seuss-related tid-bits
.
* i am literally sending healing vibes to coolio and his family right now. one might say they're in my prayers.
* i hesitate to even link to this sketch because some of you are going to think it's really disgusting and some are going to thinks it's really dumb. but somewhere, someone might see this and think it's really, really funny, too. i am warning you, though, guys (uncle keith), you're not going to think this is funny. it's partly about a guy who has sex with his cat. so, warning.
* i don't even watch tv and i have never seen this particular infomercial, but i laughed out loud anyway.
* dear justin timberlake, i love you. (via lisanti quarterly, which is awesome.)
* good luck not spending at least a few moments of your life jamming out with this. (via max silvestr, via a zillion other people.)
(i have no idea how to explain what these things are, so please do whatever research you need to in order to get up to speed. it's not really important. let's liken it to...having a few weeks worth of 'the new yorker' sitting around, waiting to be read. or, your tivo is full of stuff that you haven't had time to watch. the point is, there's a lot and it's hard to keep up.)
anyway, if i don't keep up on a daily basis, it's nearly impossible to ever catch up. since one of them is headlines from NPR, there are hundreds of updates right there. then add in the page six gossip stories, which are 12 a day. then i subscribed to buzzfeed, which i am realizing is a total reader-killer. anyway, i am drowning in online content. i assume this must be how "real" bloggers keep up on things, because i can't imagine where anyone would find the time to search the internet for entirely original content. even if you were getting paid for it, which most bloggers aren't you'd get totally overwhelmed, i think. it takes hours to fully explore any really good site. so, it must be RSS.
in any case, i am WAY behind. i haven't check my RSS in days and it is telling me now that i have 1000+ stories. it literally says "1000+" like past 1000 the numbers are too fatiguing for it to even contemplate.
this blog entry will be a bunch of the stuff i like, as i am powering through my RSS feeds, many of which i am just going to delete, because life is short and i have a disk of 'battlestar gallactica' to watch and i have my priorities.
also, i am too lazy and too small time to worry about correctly citing where everything is from, but if you go to the site to pursue the link, obviously you'll see the original material, so i think i'm still doing okay and not violating any kind of blogger code of ethics. (as if i cared.)
* so glad i found this, because i was wondering about some of this stuff and was afraid to ask.
* sweet baby jesus, this is so upsetting, on so many levels. which levels? 1) there is a real person who has to go through his life looking like this. 2) he's so creepy looking that people assume he can't be real. 3) he is a fucking SEX OFFENDER, which is both icky and also kinda understandable because LOOK AT HIM. who is going to have sex with him voluntarily? my parents are big believers in the idea that we choose our lives each time - choose our parents and our life situations - to help us work out whatever lessons we need to this time around. sure, why not? but WOW, he chose a tough incarnation this time around. WHOA.
* i don't know who half of these people are, but the ones i do know are funny enough to make it worthwhile. (don't bother if you're not a music snob. it's a waste of time.)
* this is a joke site that is sure to offend all my fundamentalist christian readers. (i have no fundamentalist christian readers that i am aware of.) for everyone else, it's literally hours of hilarity making fun of fundamentalist christians.
* this article about a new slow food movement in new york made me want to move to brooklyn and get all foodie. don't tell shannon, but i think i am in love with one of the chocolate-making brothers. (the one who looks like shannon.)
* i know it's linguistic elitism to decry the devolution of my version of the english language, and to feel like it's all falling apart because of lazy grunters and endless IMing, but it makes me glad to know that someone, somewhere, finds this stuff worth noting. (though they're in the UK, which is a completely different language, but still....)
* you guys, poor bernard madoff has been under house arrest in his manhattan penthouse for WEEKS. hasn't the poor man suffered enough?! answer: not even close. i love the last part, where he says he should get to keep his penthouse and $60 mill in assets because they're in his wife's name. aside from publicly spanking him on his testicles 50 billion times, i can't think of a non-death penalty punishment strict enough for him.
* this month is the 150th birthday of dr. seuss himself, theodore geisel, so here are some seuss-related tid-bits
.
* i am literally sending healing vibes to coolio and his family right now. one might say they're in my prayers.
* i hesitate to even link to this sketch because some of you are going to think it's really disgusting and some are going to thinks it's really dumb. but somewhere, someone might see this and think it's really, really funny, too. i am warning you, though, guys (uncle keith), you're not going to think this is funny. it's partly about a guy who has sex with his cat. so, warning.
* i don't even watch tv and i have never seen this particular infomercial, but i laughed out loud anyway.
* dear justin timberlake, i love you. (via lisanti quarterly, which is awesome.)
* good luck not spending at least a few moments of your life jamming out with this. (via max silvestr, via a zillion other people.)
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
le plus ca change, the plus c'est le meme chose.
* stay classy, new york post.
* we're having some serious budget problems in california.
glad to see that the republicans in our state are moved by the spirit of bi-partisanship that's sweeping the nation.
just kidding, that's not happening in washington or in california.
what the fuck is wrong with america?
oh, i know. TOO MANY CHOICES and too many people whose opinions don't matter having a say in things.
this crap would NEVER happen if i were running stuff.
i'd take the head republicans and the governor and the head democrats and knock all their heads together, then give them all a public spanking for being a bunch of ninnies and letting things get to this point.
i'm so sick of the republicans and the democrats taking turns being the boss and then punishing whoever was in charge before. and i'm sick of whoever is on the bottom being a bunch of whiny contrarians. also, democrats, how the fuck did you let CALIFORNIA have so many republicans that they can completely stop these negotiations? blowing it, democrats. blowing it.
WORK IT OUT.
compassionate fascism works because we just make the right decisions for everyone and we're not really interested in ideological differences of opinions because we've got a fucking country to run and it's possible we know a little more about running a country that moonbeam stargazer in berkeley, or cletus q. overbite in spitoon, tx.
obviously we can't solve the budget crisis with ALL spending cuts, nor can it be ALL tax hikes. it'll be a combination of both because that's what needs to happen.
enough. shut up. make it happen.
* i know i'm kinda fixated on this octuplets lady, but i just keep having her shoved in my face. this article is upsetting because she is so obviously obsessed with angelina jolie and is lying about it. also because of her poor mother's quote at the end.
* this article is upsetting because it just adds on to the established pattern of behavior from this family. i'll admit, my first thought when reading that headline was to think about what losers that family is, which is unlike me. i lay a greater weight of responsibility on unscrupulous lenders in this whole housing mess, because they were making loans that they knew the people could never afford. these idiots ought to have known that the deals they were getting were too good to be true, but obviously common sense and the ability to take responsibility for one's actions is not a highly prized skill in our culture, so how could they be expected to NOT think that they deserved to own homes they couldn't afford? but those lenders, THEY knew. so, shame on them.
so, this family, with the parents who are behind on their house payments because they had an adjustable rate mortgage, and the daughter who keeps making kids in her freaky science experiment way... could they cost tax payers more money? because i'm sure the parents are going to want help negotiating their mortgage, which they should be able to do, definitely, but is that going to come out of this new housing package? because being behind on your house payments because you're working full time raising the illegitimate children of your own (obviously) poorly-raised daughters isn't a very good excuse.
(i know it is easy to blame parents for kids who turn out idiots or criminals or just bad people. sometimes good parents end up with kids who are duds. i know being a parent isn't easy, and i certainly don't suggest that it is. you do the best you can and hope for the best, like in everything else in life. but to look at this baby-hoarder, and see her behavior, and see what a weirdo she is, doesn't that suggest something went awry in her upbringing? if the only problem is that they keep enabling her to make these catastrophically terrible decisions, isn't that a huge, huge mistake? yes, it is.)
so this family is costing us for the daughter's disability. it's costing us for her food stamps and disability payments for her kids who have special needs. it's costing us for her hospital stay, including a few weeks of care for SEVEN babies. it's costing us for her future student loans, which she imagines will be enough to support her and her 14 kids. it's probably going to cost us for them to keep their shoebox of a house. i just feel like it's not fair that people who aren't making terrible decisions or raising their kids to be selfish monsters should have to foot the bill. i'm bankrolling this crazy lady's lifestyle. not cool.
* last 'best night ever' with one of my internet boyfriends, max silvestri. i am making a sad face as i watch this. if you haven't watched it before, feel free to watch them all on that same site because they are consistently really, really funny. i don't even watch TV and i find them entertaining despite being entirely about tv.
* i'm really curious about the amazon kindle. i love the idea of saving the paper wasted to print books. i know that the traditional print industries are all struggling right now, and i feel not great about abandoning them, but i also feel like a paper-based industry is just asking for an overhaul. if we're all so concerned about trees and recycling and conserving, it seems like any industry that is built on semi- or non-renewable resources is out of sync. i can't count the number of books and magazines i've purchased or been given which i then gave to the library or left at the gym. i totally didn't need my own copy of either, because i had no intention of rereading them. like buying an mp3 instead of a cd, it uses a lot less resources to get the digital version of media instead, or at least first. if i love an album i got online, i'll often buy the cd. also, how futuristic is the kindle, right? imagine having THAT with you on vacation, instead of lugging around a paperback or something, trying to buy english language books in a foreign country, having the new yorker with you already. good stuff, right?
but what if it totally sucks, or it lacks the magic of paper books? i know the having music in digital format has sort of ruined music for me. apparently having access to so much music devalues my music and makes it a lot harder to bond intensely with any single album the way i used to. though, could that be age? i just find that since i got my first ipod, i have had much faster turnaround time with music, where i'll be intensely interested in an album or artist, then it fades. what if the kindle does that for books?
i also question whether reading something on a hand held will be icky feeling, like reading stuff online is. i find it much more difficult to retain information that i've read online, like an article i am supposed to download for school vs. a printed hand out. what if the kindle is the same way?
any thoughts?
* we're having some serious budget problems in california.
glad to see that the republicans in our state are moved by the spirit of bi-partisanship that's sweeping the nation.
just kidding, that's not happening in washington or in california.
what the fuck is wrong with america?
oh, i know. TOO MANY CHOICES and too many people whose opinions don't matter having a say in things.
this crap would NEVER happen if i were running stuff.
i'd take the head republicans and the governor and the head democrats and knock all their heads together, then give them all a public spanking for being a bunch of ninnies and letting things get to this point.
i'm so sick of the republicans and the democrats taking turns being the boss and then punishing whoever was in charge before. and i'm sick of whoever is on the bottom being a bunch of whiny contrarians. also, democrats, how the fuck did you let CALIFORNIA have so many republicans that they can completely stop these negotiations? blowing it, democrats. blowing it.
WORK IT OUT.
compassionate fascism works because we just make the right decisions for everyone and we're not really interested in ideological differences of opinions because we've got a fucking country to run and it's possible we know a little more about running a country that moonbeam stargazer in berkeley, or cletus q. overbite in spitoon, tx.
obviously we can't solve the budget crisis with ALL spending cuts, nor can it be ALL tax hikes. it'll be a combination of both because that's what needs to happen.
enough. shut up. make it happen.
* i know i'm kinda fixated on this octuplets lady, but i just keep having her shoved in my face. this article is upsetting because she is so obviously obsessed with angelina jolie and is lying about it. also because of her poor mother's quote at the end.
* this article is upsetting because it just adds on to the established pattern of behavior from this family. i'll admit, my first thought when reading that headline was to think about what losers that family is, which is unlike me. i lay a greater weight of responsibility on unscrupulous lenders in this whole housing mess, because they were making loans that they knew the people could never afford. these idiots ought to have known that the deals they were getting were too good to be true, but obviously common sense and the ability to take responsibility for one's actions is not a highly prized skill in our culture, so how could they be expected to NOT think that they deserved to own homes they couldn't afford? but those lenders, THEY knew. so, shame on them.
so, this family, with the parents who are behind on their house payments because they had an adjustable rate mortgage, and the daughter who keeps making kids in her freaky science experiment way... could they cost tax payers more money? because i'm sure the parents are going to want help negotiating their mortgage, which they should be able to do, definitely, but is that going to come out of this new housing package? because being behind on your house payments because you're working full time raising the illegitimate children of your own (obviously) poorly-raised daughters isn't a very good excuse.
(i know it is easy to blame parents for kids who turn out idiots or criminals or just bad people. sometimes good parents end up with kids who are duds. i know being a parent isn't easy, and i certainly don't suggest that it is. you do the best you can and hope for the best, like in everything else in life. but to look at this baby-hoarder, and see her behavior, and see what a weirdo she is, doesn't that suggest something went awry in her upbringing? if the only problem is that they keep enabling her to make these catastrophically terrible decisions, isn't that a huge, huge mistake? yes, it is.)
so this family is costing us for the daughter's disability. it's costing us for her food stamps and disability payments for her kids who have special needs. it's costing us for her hospital stay, including a few weeks of care for SEVEN babies. it's costing us for her future student loans, which she imagines will be enough to support her and her 14 kids. it's probably going to cost us for them to keep their shoebox of a house. i just feel like it's not fair that people who aren't making terrible decisions or raising their kids to be selfish monsters should have to foot the bill. i'm bankrolling this crazy lady's lifestyle. not cool.
* last 'best night ever' with one of my internet boyfriends, max silvestri. i am making a sad face as i watch this. if you haven't watched it before, feel free to watch them all on that same site because they are consistently really, really funny. i don't even watch TV and i find them entertaining despite being entirely about tv.
* i'm really curious about the amazon kindle. i love the idea of saving the paper wasted to print books. i know that the traditional print industries are all struggling right now, and i feel not great about abandoning them, but i also feel like a paper-based industry is just asking for an overhaul. if we're all so concerned about trees and recycling and conserving, it seems like any industry that is built on semi- or non-renewable resources is out of sync. i can't count the number of books and magazines i've purchased or been given which i then gave to the library or left at the gym. i totally didn't need my own copy of either, because i had no intention of rereading them. like buying an mp3 instead of a cd, it uses a lot less resources to get the digital version of media instead, or at least first. if i love an album i got online, i'll often buy the cd. also, how futuristic is the kindle, right? imagine having THAT with you on vacation, instead of lugging around a paperback or something, trying to buy english language books in a foreign country, having the new yorker with you already. good stuff, right?
but what if it totally sucks, or it lacks the magic of paper books? i know the having music in digital format has sort of ruined music for me. apparently having access to so much music devalues my music and makes it a lot harder to bond intensely with any single album the way i used to. though, could that be age? i just find that since i got my first ipod, i have had much faster turnaround time with music, where i'll be intensely interested in an album or artist, then it fades. what if the kindle does that for books?
i also question whether reading something on a hand held will be icky feeling, like reading stuff online is. i find it much more difficult to retain information that i've read online, like an article i am supposed to download for school vs. a printed hand out. what if the kindle is the same way?
any thoughts?
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
kids on drugs.
i can't get enough of this video.
seriously, i've watched it over and over and i am still not tired of it.
if i had ever done illicit drugs of any kind, which i certainly haven't because they are illegal, i imagine one might experience something like this while under the influence.
definitely one of my favorite things this week.
p.s. compassionate fascism believes in legalized drugs because the war on drugs is a dumb joke and stigmatizing something doesn't make it go away so let's just find a way to support people who are having trouble with it so they're safe.
p.p.s. for some reason i have never googled the phrase 'compassionate fascism.' i guess i just assumed that since i came up with it myself, somehow no one would ever have come up with it before me. not sure why i would have thought that, but i was shocked to see how many hits there are for it.
you guys, it's already a thing!
there is a band on myspace with that name!
(another post referred to 'enlightened imperialism' which is also a catchy name.)
but stil...
should i come up with a new name for my political system?
i don't want there to be confusion between MY version and someone else's version...
what do you think?
seriously, i've watched it over and over and i am still not tired of it.
if i had ever done illicit drugs of any kind, which i certainly haven't because they are illegal, i imagine one might experience something like this while under the influence.
definitely one of my favorite things this week.
p.s. compassionate fascism believes in legalized drugs because the war on drugs is a dumb joke and stigmatizing something doesn't make it go away so let's just find a way to support people who are having trouble with it so they're safe.
p.p.s. for some reason i have never googled the phrase 'compassionate fascism.' i guess i just assumed that since i came up with it myself, somehow no one would ever have come up with it before me. not sure why i would have thought that, but i was shocked to see how many hits there are for it.
you guys, it's already a thing!
there is a band on myspace with that name!
(another post referred to 'enlightened imperialism' which is also a catchy name.)
but stil...
should i come up with a new name for my political system?
i don't want there to be confusion between MY version and someone else's version...
what do you think?
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