okay, so i have had a brilliant idea and i am basically on the brink of becoming a millionaire.
here's where it came from...
shannon and i went out to dinner at a mexican place we used to eat at all the time but then stopped going to. immediately upon finishing the meal, it became clear why we never eat there anymore...it makes shannon ill.
oops.
so i thought, 'sometimes you eat something and wish you hadn't a kinda want to take it back...'
and VOILA!
you guys....vomitoriums!
wait for it.
yeah! I KNOW!
so, here's my thinking, just spit-balling...
ladies are out for a bachelorette party.
they want to eat a giant steak dinner, with baked potatoes and bread and rolls and everything. YUM!
but they also want to go out dancing afterwards and no have to deal with post-meal sluggishness or bloated food bellies.
so, they come to my upchuckery!
they rent a group room.
they check in and trade their clothes for some robes and slippers. (no terry cloth. getting vomit out of terry cloth is a nightmare. i think.)
they waddle into a large tiled room, with showers and stalls and troughs and sinks.
they do their business.
they shower, if they feel so inclined.
they leave the room and head into the powder room, where complimentary water (cucumber, lemon, fruit, bubbly, flat, cold, warm...so many types!) is available. also saltines.
there are sinks where they can use toothbrushes (which we sell, and which come with free toothpaste and mouthwash!), wash their faces, reapply make-up, use some perfume from the perfume bar, and get ready to go out again.
maybe they want to lay down a solid layer in their tummies so they can drink a bunch!
we have a cafe that serves tummy friendly foods!
chamomile tea, papaya enzymes, chicken soup, grilled cheese, salads with mild dressings, ginger ale...
so they eat some, get gussied up and head back out, skinny and smelling better, but having enjoyed a lovely dinner!!
IT CAN'T FAIL!
so, that's one market.
maybe we have a ladies' night package.
obviously the bulimic are an option, but we can't count on them. they're not going to be our bread and butter. (get it?)
another market is drunk people.
either they want to keep drinking, or they're too drunk and want to start sobering up somewhere that isn't a bar bathroom. either way, we're there for them.
we'll have private rooms (NO SEX!!), semi-private rooms, and public rooms.
you check your clothes at the door, and they're returned to you, smelling better.
maybe we have sober up specials, where you can rent some of those capsule sleeping pods that they have in japan for a couple of hours to help sleep it off, and then we'll throw in a free breathalyzer before you leave. overnight parking, for a fee. free shuttle with certain packages? (just riffing.)
obviously we'll open our first branch in las vegas, because where else will there be so many stupid people doing stupid things they wish they could take back, right? from there, we'll see. i'm thinking...the marina? hollywood?
my only problem...a name.
ideas? the upchuckery isn't going to sell itself. we need something less barfy.
Showing posts with label C.R.E.A.M.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label C.R.E.A.M.. Show all posts
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
some things that are neat/funny!
hey, guys!
i know, it's been a while.
here are some things that have happened on the internet and in the world since we last talked...
<3 quite a few people whose opinions i trust have said that this pbs special about the depression II: full throttle is very informative and really good. i haven't gotten around to watching it, but i am happy to share it with you, in case you have a free moment while shooting about the interwebs.
<3 this is the ultimate primer for internet trend knowledgability. these are all the internet trends that have been big, in no particular order, in one place, so you can catch up a bit.
<3 is this delicious or disgusting? BOTH!
<3 some evil geniuses created a 'silence of the lambs' musical. here are the songs. here is the youtube video of the obvious classic "put the fucking lotion in the basket." obviously not for those who are easily offended and probably not funny to people who don't know the movie.
extreme sheepherding!!
<3 this photographer shoots things with a gun and takes photos of it. weird and neat.
<3 me and some friends are going "no 'poo." it basically means we're not using store bought shampoo or conditioner. there are many benefits to it, all of which are outlined AT LENGTH in other website, if you're interested. here are some sites i've liked so far:
http://www.naturemoms.com/no-shampoo-alternative.html
http://babyslime.livejournal.com/174054.html
http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-Go-No-Poo/
let me know if you're gonna try it out! we can email about it!
what have you been up to?
i know, it's been a while.
here are some things that have happened on the internet and in the world since we last talked...
<3 quite a few people whose opinions i trust have said that this pbs special about the depression II: full throttle is very informative and really good. i haven't gotten around to watching it, but i am happy to share it with you, in case you have a free moment while shooting about the interwebs.
<3 this is the ultimate primer for internet trend knowledgability. these are all the internet trends that have been big, in no particular order, in one place, so you can catch up a bit.
<3 is this delicious or disgusting? BOTH!
<3 some evil geniuses created a 'silence of the lambs' musical. here are the songs. here is the youtube video of the obvious classic "put the fucking lotion in the basket." obviously not for those who are easily offended and probably not funny to people who don't know the movie.
extreme sheepherding!!
<3 this photographer shoots things with a gun and takes photos of it. weird and neat.
<3 me and some friends are going "no 'poo." it basically means we're not using store bought shampoo or conditioner. there are many benefits to it, all of which are outlined AT LENGTH in other website, if you're interested. here are some sites i've liked so far:
http://www.naturemoms.com/no-shampoo-alternative.html
http://babyslime.livejournal.com/174054.html
http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-Go-No-Poo/
let me know if you're gonna try it out! we can email about it!
what have you been up to?
Thursday, March 12, 2009
shopping trip.
for those of you who don't care at all about clothing, you can skip this blog entry because it's all pictures and stuff about clothes. check back later!
for those of you who like clothes - hi!
i have been really impressed with the discount clothing sources in the world lately. i'd like to say it's because of the economy, but it's not, though this is a well-timed observation on my part. payless shoes, off saks (the saks fifth avenue outlet), target, old navy (though that's not exactly discount, it's the cheapest of the old navy/gap/banana republic family... all these places have had some really, really good stuff lately, for totally great prices.
i went to target for a gold digital watch yesterday (sure, why not?) and then filled a cart with some amazing finds, all for target-cheap prices. then i felt guilty for shopping more because i have been on two big off saks sprees in the last couple weeks and i feel like a loser, so i abandoned all my finds, but i took pictures that i wanted to share with you.
okay, we'll start with some housewares.
this bedding set has the ikat print that all the fashion and decorating magazines have been really excited about this last year. the lamp below has a great shape, it's a nice size, and i like the kinda flashy body (silver metal with clear glass over it or something) with the staid navy shade. i am pondering this for my new bedside lamp.
i'm a sucker for green glass, though these are the kind of vase that i always have a hard time using, since i seldom have only a few of a certain kind of flower, like...three tulips. but these together on a coffee table would be very west elm.
this vase is kick-ass. obviously my iphone photography doesn't fully convey what it looks like, but let me describe it. it's a rectangle vase, big enough for a dozen and a half roses probably, and it's got the shape of a curvy vase printed on it. brilliant. i have a crush on this, even though i absolutely do not need any more vases at all.
SHOES!
the shoes right now at target are solid. i could have seriously bought an entire new shoe wardrobe yesterday, i think.
cute shoes. they came in a bubblegum pink, too. sort of 60s flight attendant barbie shoes.
i would not wear these shoes personally. they're not my style and the older i get, the less reasons i can come up with to wear heels of any kind, much less vaguely avant-garde future shoes, but these are really, really "editorial" as the fashion world might say. with the crazy shaped heel and the wide strap across the foot, they're like something an olsen twin would wear, with slouchy menswear pants that are pegged and cuffed. can't you see it?
these are total urban outfitters shoes. i think that designers from the urban family might have jumped ship and taken over at the target brands (mossimo, exhiliration) because it's kinda uncanny. these are really cute fake huaraches, but they're made of plastic tubing and were flat as pancakes. they'd be misery during the summer. imagine your sweaty feet slipping around in those unforgiving little cutie pies. but seriously, they're cute as hell. these ones are fruit striped, but they come in brown and black and white, i think.
also, totally olsen twin shoes. shoes for women who are mean to others and their own feet. sexy. ouchie.
it is such a sign of the times that these are some of the shoes i seriously considered, when compared to the really cute heels i've shown you. these have a sensible heel, a soft, kinda molded faux suede footbed and leather straps that don't pinch. i'm old now, and i am concerned about having comfortable feet. or maybe i am too smart now, and too married, to feel that having sexy feet for a night is worth the days and possibly years of misery those sexy feet will buy me.
cute. you can't see it in this picture (though i am clearly a professional fashion photographer) that the bows are sewn above a little round gathered hole, and the toe scoops down to show some toe cleavage. not totally comfortable but maybe worth it.
this reminds me of a jacket i saw in a few fashion spreads. it was from vera wang's line at kohl's, which is also pretty solid. a little bit old for me, but some stand out pieces, and the fashion magazines really like it, too. this jacket is what i think of as a wasted layer. i'll digress...
before i learned how to drive, i walked everywhere. i can't even guess how far i walked on average every day, but it was freaking far. because i didn't have a car to stash stuff in, when i left the house in the morning, that was all i had to work with for the day when it came to layering for warmth or coolness. i started this habit of wearing a tank top under everything, every single day, in case it was warmer than i'd expected and i got too hot. one too many days smothering in too many layers, i guess. likewise, it was dangerous to wear any single layer that was TOO warm, because if it warmed up, i'd be stuck carrying it all day. (i carried this huge messenger bag sometimes, that could have easily carried a toddler, and it was mostly full of clothes. i like to be prepared.)
anyway, i discovered after a certain point, that certain types of layers were wasted. they were useless. perfect example: a jean jacket. not warm enough to keep you warm. if it's so warm that a jean jacket will keep you warm, there is probably a lighter, less stiff layer you could use instead. also, in order for it to look cute, it needs to be tight, but then it's too tight to wear layers underneath.
USELESS. GET RID OF IT.
this jacket is another one. besides being a shape and length that is hard to work out, it's also got 3/4 sleeves, which are really only appropriate for certain weather. it won't provide warmth or coverage from any type of weather, really. cold? whoops, it's got short sleeves. hot? it's material is weird stiff nylon. a waste.
but cute. i am imagining a spread in lucky magazine with this, a turtleneck sweater, a chunky necklace, a pencil skirt, and shoes like those avant garde ones from earlier.
urban outfitters bite again. hard to see the shape, but it's not ugly. i'd buy this blouse. plus, i'm a sucker for charcoal grey.
this looks like crap, but it's a lovely blush colored faux satin. the cut isn't my favorite and the ruffle itself is silly, but it's a very daring design, and i'm impressed at target for trying it out.
more urban biting. i think it could look very lovely on, though it looks a bit 'golden girls' in this pictures. quick, blanche needs a new dress for her date with the retired dentist she just met!
accessories.
this is a nice sized tote. it's got that convertible strap thingie that everyone is doing now, where it can be turned into a messenger bag, or be carried with this two shorter handles. it comes in charcoal grey, too.
ugh, i wish this picture had come out. these look like some vintage glasses that would be at an american apparel.
cute.
both these pairs are urban outfitters-style. they're cute. but really cheaply made. course, so is urban's jewelry.
i took quite a few more pictures, and there were TONS more cute things there, but some of the pictures didn't turn out great. i always forget that i need to hold my iphone for a second after i hear the little camera noise, because it hasn't taken the picture yet. they always come out blurred.
for those of you who like clothes - hi!
i have been really impressed with the discount clothing sources in the world lately. i'd like to say it's because of the economy, but it's not, though this is a well-timed observation on my part. payless shoes, off saks (the saks fifth avenue outlet), target, old navy (though that's not exactly discount, it's the cheapest of the old navy/gap/banana republic family... all these places have had some really, really good stuff lately, for totally great prices.
i went to target for a gold digital watch yesterday (sure, why not?) and then filled a cart with some amazing finds, all for target-cheap prices. then i felt guilty for shopping more because i have been on two big off saks sprees in the last couple weeks and i feel like a loser, so i abandoned all my finds, but i took pictures that i wanted to share with you.
okay, we'll start with some housewares.
this bedding set has the ikat print that all the fashion and decorating magazines have been really excited about this last year. the lamp below has a great shape, it's a nice size, and i like the kinda flashy body (silver metal with clear glass over it or something) with the staid navy shade. i am pondering this for my new bedside lamp.
i'm a sucker for green glass, though these are the kind of vase that i always have a hard time using, since i seldom have only a few of a certain kind of flower, like...three tulips. but these together on a coffee table would be very west elm.
this vase is kick-ass. obviously my iphone photography doesn't fully convey what it looks like, but let me describe it. it's a rectangle vase, big enough for a dozen and a half roses probably, and it's got the shape of a curvy vase printed on it. brilliant. i have a crush on this, even though i absolutely do not need any more vases at all.
SHOES!
the shoes right now at target are solid. i could have seriously bought an entire new shoe wardrobe yesterday, i think.
cute shoes. they came in a bubblegum pink, too. sort of 60s flight attendant barbie shoes.
i would not wear these shoes personally. they're not my style and the older i get, the less reasons i can come up with to wear heels of any kind, much less vaguely avant-garde future shoes, but these are really, really "editorial" as the fashion world might say. with the crazy shaped heel and the wide strap across the foot, they're like something an olsen twin would wear, with slouchy menswear pants that are pegged and cuffed. can't you see it?
these are total urban outfitters shoes. i think that designers from the urban family might have jumped ship and taken over at the target brands (mossimo, exhiliration) because it's kinda uncanny. these are really cute fake huaraches, but they're made of plastic tubing and were flat as pancakes. they'd be misery during the summer. imagine your sweaty feet slipping around in those unforgiving little cutie pies. but seriously, they're cute as hell. these ones are fruit striped, but they come in brown and black and white, i think.
also, totally olsen twin shoes. shoes for women who are mean to others and their own feet. sexy. ouchie.
it is such a sign of the times that these are some of the shoes i seriously considered, when compared to the really cute heels i've shown you. these have a sensible heel, a soft, kinda molded faux suede footbed and leather straps that don't pinch. i'm old now, and i am concerned about having comfortable feet. or maybe i am too smart now, and too married, to feel that having sexy feet for a night is worth the days and possibly years of misery those sexy feet will buy me.
cute. you can't see it in this picture (though i am clearly a professional fashion photographer) that the bows are sewn above a little round gathered hole, and the toe scoops down to show some toe cleavage. not totally comfortable but maybe worth it.
this reminds me of a jacket i saw in a few fashion spreads. it was from vera wang's line at kohl's, which is also pretty solid. a little bit old for me, but some stand out pieces, and the fashion magazines really like it, too. this jacket is what i think of as a wasted layer. i'll digress...
before i learned how to drive, i walked everywhere. i can't even guess how far i walked on average every day, but it was freaking far. because i didn't have a car to stash stuff in, when i left the house in the morning, that was all i had to work with for the day when it came to layering for warmth or coolness. i started this habit of wearing a tank top under everything, every single day, in case it was warmer than i'd expected and i got too hot. one too many days smothering in too many layers, i guess. likewise, it was dangerous to wear any single layer that was TOO warm, because if it warmed up, i'd be stuck carrying it all day. (i carried this huge messenger bag sometimes, that could have easily carried a toddler, and it was mostly full of clothes. i like to be prepared.)
anyway, i discovered after a certain point, that certain types of layers were wasted. they were useless. perfect example: a jean jacket. not warm enough to keep you warm. if it's so warm that a jean jacket will keep you warm, there is probably a lighter, less stiff layer you could use instead. also, in order for it to look cute, it needs to be tight, but then it's too tight to wear layers underneath.
USELESS. GET RID OF IT.
this jacket is another one. besides being a shape and length that is hard to work out, it's also got 3/4 sleeves, which are really only appropriate for certain weather. it won't provide warmth or coverage from any type of weather, really. cold? whoops, it's got short sleeves. hot? it's material is weird stiff nylon. a waste.
but cute. i am imagining a spread in lucky magazine with this, a turtleneck sweater, a chunky necklace, a pencil skirt, and shoes like those avant garde ones from earlier.
urban outfitters bite again. hard to see the shape, but it's not ugly. i'd buy this blouse. plus, i'm a sucker for charcoal grey.
this looks like crap, but it's a lovely blush colored faux satin. the cut isn't my favorite and the ruffle itself is silly, but it's a very daring design, and i'm impressed at target for trying it out.
more urban biting. i think it could look very lovely on, though it looks a bit 'golden girls' in this pictures. quick, blanche needs a new dress for her date with the retired dentist she just met!
accessories.
this is a nice sized tote. it's got that convertible strap thingie that everyone is doing now, where it can be turned into a messenger bag, or be carried with this two shorter handles. it comes in charcoal grey, too.
ugh, i wish this picture had come out. these look like some vintage glasses that would be at an american apparel.
cute.
both these pairs are urban outfitters-style. they're cute. but really cheaply made. course, so is urban's jewelry.
i took quite a few more pictures, and there were TONS more cute things there, but some of the pictures didn't turn out great. i always forget that i need to hold my iphone for a second after i hear the little camera noise, because it hasn't taken the picture yet. they always come out blurred.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
selling out.
so, i got this email this week:
Kira,
We want to know if you'll partner with us to accept advertising on your blog COMPASSIONATE FASCISM? We have received 7 page views this week for your blog COMPASSIONATE FASCISM, and our BlogAd total for Petaluma, California area blogs is 242 this week.
Our website, www.wikimetro.org, is the largest online BlogAd marketplace with more than 50,000 blogs in more than 2,300 US cities and towns. Ads on blogs that partner with wikimetro have replaced newspapers to become the best choice for advertising by local businesses, and many bloggers listed on wikimetro now make their full income by writing blogs that carry ads for local businesses.
Please consider partnering with us--blogging is fun and are replacing newspapers for advertising. If you want to talk by phone, we are here 24/7, just follow this link to your blog on our site
http://list.wikimetro.org/market/info.aspx?blog=12326
When you open this link, click "Is this your blog?" then sign in (or register) and set the price that you will accept for an ad on your blog, and also tell us how to pay you.
it took me a while to understand what they wanted from me.
something about ads on my blog?
so i was thinking, like, along the borders or something?
then, after reading the FAQs, i found out i am supposed to WRITE the ad, into my blog, i think.
which is so weird.
i have mixed feelings about it.
it seems hard to imagine that i am going to make money on this deal, given that my readership is not big. and if people were making money doing this, it seems like they'd be talking about it a bunch. but i've never really heard anything about this. then again, what if it's easy and i *can* make money?
HOW MUCH IS MY ARTISTIC INTEGRITY WORTH?!
i know, i know. what artistic integrity?
i could write an ad for something, i think.
but do i need to make it seem like i am plugging a product? can i make it clear that it's an ad and i am being paid for it? for example:
wow, the people at 'the best little hairhouse in petaluma' are the nicest, funnest people and i think the service they're offering is probably awesome. i think, if you have a chance, you should go there, in person, and see what they're all about! or, if you can't afford to load the entire family up and head over there, absolutely check out their website and buy some things from them, because DUH. they're OBVIOUSLY wonderful.
was that painful for you? it was mildly painful for me, but not terrifically.
i just don't know.
no one ever comments on my blog posts, but if anyone has any thoughts to share about this issue, i'd appreciate it.
Kira,
We want to know if you'll partner with us to accept advertising on your blog COMPASSIONATE FASCISM? We have received 7 page views this week for your blog COMPASSIONATE FASCISM, and our BlogAd total for Petaluma, California area blogs is 242 this week.
Our website, www.wikimetro.org, is the largest online BlogAd marketplace with more than 50,000 blogs in more than 2,300 US cities and towns. Ads on blogs that partner with wikimetro have replaced newspapers to become the best choice for advertising by local businesses, and many bloggers listed on wikimetro now make their full income by writing blogs that carry ads for local businesses.
Please consider partnering with us--blogging is fun and are replacing newspapers for advertising. If you want to talk by phone, we are here 24/7, just follow this link to your blog on our site
http://list.wikimetro.org/market/info.aspx?blog=12326
When you open this link, click "Is this your blog?" then sign in (or register) and set the price that you will accept for an ad on your blog, and also tell us how to pay you.
it took me a while to understand what they wanted from me.
something about ads on my blog?
so i was thinking, like, along the borders or something?
then, after reading the FAQs, i found out i am supposed to WRITE the ad, into my blog, i think.
which is so weird.
i have mixed feelings about it.
it seems hard to imagine that i am going to make money on this deal, given that my readership is not big. and if people were making money doing this, it seems like they'd be talking about it a bunch. but i've never really heard anything about this. then again, what if it's easy and i *can* make money?
HOW MUCH IS MY ARTISTIC INTEGRITY WORTH?!
i know, i know. what artistic integrity?
i could write an ad for something, i think.
but do i need to make it seem like i am plugging a product? can i make it clear that it's an ad and i am being paid for it? for example:
wow, the people at 'the best little hairhouse in petaluma' are the nicest, funnest people and i think the service they're offering is probably awesome. i think, if you have a chance, you should go there, in person, and see what they're all about! or, if you can't afford to load the entire family up and head over there, absolutely check out their website and buy some things from them, because DUH. they're OBVIOUSLY wonderful.
was that painful for you? it was mildly painful for me, but not terrifically.
i just don't know.
no one ever comments on my blog posts, but if anyone has any thoughts to share about this issue, i'd appreciate it.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
Posts
